During this time of the year we gather with our families and friends to discuss old times, talk about what we're doing now, to laugh… and to joke. We make an attempt to grow our relationships stronger and reinforce our love for one another. We look forward to the sales on Black Friday and wonder what we are going to get for Christmas.
Thursday November 27 marked the 330th day in 2008 and we celebrated Thanksgiving as a nation. But, what did you really give Thanks for and what are you Giving?
For me, I gave Thanks for the things I take for granted. The ability to see, hear, my health, mobility of my arms and legs, a place to live, food in my refrigerator and a JOB. Wow, a JOB! Now a day’s having a JOB is a blessing. With the economic hardships that the world is suffering through at this point in history; having a JOB is a life line that many of us take for granted. But when I turn on CNN and I hear that CITI Group is laying off close to 52,000 people. Suddenly, going to work makes me feel like one of the fortunate people. It's kind of sobering when you hear that the second largest bank in this nation is on the verge of collapse... it makes me feel like missing that football game on Sunday was not the worst thing that could've happen in a day. Therefore, I give Thanks to God for many things but most of all I give Thanks to Him for being able to supply the basic needs that many of us take for granted. I hope you share my attitude of gratitude.
A Giving spirit is an important attribute to have especially at a time like this in history. When people are suffering on one extreme and others make futile attempts to hoard their wealth and prosperity on the other extreme. I was talking with my brother about a month ago about economy. He made a true statement he said "In a lot of ways man has a gratuitous nature. It started off with self-preservation and it spilled over into financial and material greed. So, turn on the television or read the newspaper and you can learn the results of this gratuitous mindset from one extreme to the next." I tend to agree with my brother. On one hand, man has a gratuitous nature... On the other hand, man has been blessed with the one thing that no other species on earth has and that is free will. Greed is a choice y'all! And free will allows for CHANGE! Maybe even the CHANGE that President-Elect Barrack Obama was speaking of during his Presidential campaign when he asked "Am I my brothers keeper?" and as a nation we responded with "YES I AM." As a nation of free will voters the majority elected a candidate for CHANGE because we are ready for a new vision for America. But I’m wondering how many of us are waiting for a CHANGE from our government but are unwilling to CHANGE OURSELVES. I challenge you to also be a candidate for CHANGE. Giving is not always in the form of money. Give your time. Donate one hour a week if you’re not doing it already. The United Way is a great way to get involved in your community. Visit them at http://www.unitedway.org/.
So I ask you again, Thanks and Giving… How Powerful is That?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Single Parenting.... From a Male Perspective
As a single father I am in a somewhat unique position. I have been a single father for almost 5 years. I began raising my son one month after his third birthday. Yet more and more these day’s fathers are becoming the heads of single parent households. Furthermore, I was raised in a single parent household from the age of 10 in which my father was the head of household. I don't point this out to glorify single parenting because I believe the institution of marriage is a solid breeding ground for raising healthy and well balanced children. As long as the relationship between the mother and father is a health relationship. Not to mention the fact that single mothers have been leading single parent households for years.
But, as a single father I find it rewarding to wake up in the morning and prepare my son for a day of growth, blessings and lessons learned. When I wake my son, we have a talk about how he's feeling, conduct personal hygiene and get dress to start our day. On our way to the babysitter’s house I talk to my son about his personal responsibility to getting his education while in school and I reinforce to him that he has the "power to effect change". "What is that?" he said. I explain that whatever situation exist in his classroom such as his friends talking to him while the teacher is teaching a lesson or while at play if his classmate are treating someone badly I encourage my son to do his part to change the situation. For instance, if someone is disruptive to the class ask the teacher to move his chair and not to participate with that person. Furthermore, if one of his classmates is being treated badly by another classmate let the teacher know.
For some reason, some parents try to teach their children the code of the streets. Don't snitch on your friends, mind your own business and only worry about you (just to name a few). Well from experience and other people’s experiences this type of teaching has a very limited scope and it tends to backfire on the parents. For example, learning not to snitch could get your child a jail sentence, minding your own business could lead to a more secluded and distant child and only worry about you sometimes leads to the "it's all about me syndrome".
In my opinion it is important to teach children a balanced approach to life situations rather then from a skewed vantage point. I encourage you to encourage your child(ren) to realize their "power to effect change" in the world around them.
But, as a single father I find it rewarding to wake up in the morning and prepare my son for a day of growth, blessings and lessons learned. When I wake my son, we have a talk about how he's feeling, conduct personal hygiene and get dress to start our day. On our way to the babysitter’s house I talk to my son about his personal responsibility to getting his education while in school and I reinforce to him that he has the "power to effect change". "What is that?" he said. I explain that whatever situation exist in his classroom such as his friends talking to him while the teacher is teaching a lesson or while at play if his classmate are treating someone badly I encourage my son to do his part to change the situation. For instance, if someone is disruptive to the class ask the teacher to move his chair and not to participate with that person. Furthermore, if one of his classmates is being treated badly by another classmate let the teacher know.
For some reason, some parents try to teach their children the code of the streets. Don't snitch on your friends, mind your own business and only worry about you (just to name a few). Well from experience and other people’s experiences this type of teaching has a very limited scope and it tends to backfire on the parents. For example, learning not to snitch could get your child a jail sentence, minding your own business could lead to a more secluded and distant child and only worry about you sometimes leads to the "it's all about me syndrome".
In my opinion it is important to teach children a balanced approach to life situations rather then from a skewed vantage point. I encourage you to encourage your child(ren) to realize their "power to effect change" in the world around them.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Mentor 4 BIG RESULTS
Last night at B.I.G. (for all that don't know B.I.G. is a young men's mentorship program) we had a powerful mentoring session in which we discussed various topics that ranged from respecting your parents to making positive life choices. The conversation got so good that we went into overtime. One of many profound moments occurred when we began to discuss broken homes. Wow! One young man talked about growing up without a father.... He was asked how he felt about growing up without a father and he explained that he didn't know what to feel. While he was talking his eyes were pointed down and his shoulders pressed down to the ground as though he had something to do with his father leaving. We encouraged him to live a life of victory and not to allow his father's poor decision to leave to destroy his self-esteem.
This is the state of mind that many of our youth live in today. A state of lost identity, stress, guilt and blame because of poor decisions that parents are making. Irresponsible parenting is not limited to race either, this young man was not African-American or Latino he was Anglo-Saxon. We told him to learn the lesson from his situation and let it motivate him to be a responsible father regardless of his relationship with the mother of his child(ren) when that time comes. I discussed my situation with growing up without my biological mother and how that made me feel. And for a long-time the young man and I shared the same feelings. We went on to talk about being an overcomer! And the first step to overcoming and healing from his father's absents is through forgiveness. Forgiving the person that wronged you is one of the hardest things to do but forgiving them frees you and unlock your full potential. Without forgiveness, you are bound and that spirit of non-forgiveness limits your potential to achieve and blocks your blessings.
James 2:20 asserts "faith without works is dead". I believe most parents want to raise healthy, productive and successful child(ren). Therefore, it is important that parents set an example that there child(ren) can follow. Whether you believe it or not, your child(ren) is /are direct products of those things that you share with them and those things you neglect to shield from them. Accountability is vital in raising good child(ren). Our child(ren) are mirror images of who we are and what we instill in them good and bad. That means keeping it real with them. Talking to them about real issues and not putting topics off limits or making them taboo. If we don't keep it real with our child(ren) the world will.
This is the state of mind that many of our youth live in today. A state of lost identity, stress, guilt and blame because of poor decisions that parents are making. Irresponsible parenting is not limited to race either, this young man was not African-American or Latino he was Anglo-Saxon. We told him to learn the lesson from his situation and let it motivate him to be a responsible father regardless of his relationship with the mother of his child(ren) when that time comes. I discussed my situation with growing up without my biological mother and how that made me feel. And for a long-time the young man and I shared the same feelings. We went on to talk about being an overcomer! And the first step to overcoming and healing from his father's absents is through forgiveness. Forgiving the person that wronged you is one of the hardest things to do but forgiving them frees you and unlock your full potential. Without forgiveness, you are bound and that spirit of non-forgiveness limits your potential to achieve and blocks your blessings.
James 2:20 asserts "faith without works is dead". I believe most parents want to raise healthy, productive and successful child(ren). Therefore, it is important that parents set an example that there child(ren) can follow. Whether you believe it or not, your child(ren) is /are direct products of those things that you share with them and those things you neglect to shield from them. Accountability is vital in raising good child(ren). Our child(ren) are mirror images of who we are and what we instill in them good and bad. That means keeping it real with them. Talking to them about real issues and not putting topics off limits or making them taboo. If we don't keep it real with our child(ren) the world will.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Technology x Interpersonal Relationships must = Balance
"In LA... nobody touches you. We're always behind this medal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something." Don Cheadle, Crash 2007.
While it is true that America has evolved from a society of slow archaic manual labor to a technologically advanced society where a girl in New York could keep in contact with her friend in China with a push of a button or the fact that companies can hold merger talks using a Video Teleconference (VTC) or have internal organizational meetings by way of Virtual Private Network (VPN). Because of technology, our personal and professional lives are more productive and fulfilling now more then ever before.
On the other hand, technology has had an adverse effect on many people in our society. For instance, when we go to the checkout counter at various stores, there is an automated checkout counter where there use to be a cashier or when we use to talk to each other on the phone, but now we find it more convenient to email or text message one another. Something seems wrong! Whatever happen to a good old fashion hand shake or meeting a women face to face instead of through a computer system that tells one who would best suit them. How about experiencing "love at first sight" without having to meet all of her friends and family on MySpace or meeting 10 women in a matter of 20 minutes during a speed dating session (as though someone could determine who they wanted to date in that short amount of time).
I feel that current and future technology coupled with the Internet are excellent tools that will propel us further and faster on to this information highway that we are now traveling. It is important that we don't let the basic things that make us human beings fall into a ditch on the side of the road during our high speed travels. In some cases, we as a society have become less interpersonal with one another due to our use of technology. We let our emails and text messages say I love you or rather the numbers 1-4-3 replaces our warm voice that could reassure her of our feelings. Many arguments have occurred and some relationships have even broken up due to miscommunication from using these written mediums. In most cases, a simple telephone call could have alleviated the misunderstanding. As we continue to march further and faster into the 21st century it is important not to get trapped behind the computer or telephone texting screens. These mediums should not be a persons primary means of communication. Rather, one should find balance and develop a technological/interpersonal relationship in both their personal and professional lives.
While it is true that America has evolved from a society of slow archaic manual labor to a technologically advanced society where a girl in New York could keep in contact with her friend in China with a push of a button or the fact that companies can hold merger talks using a Video Teleconference (VTC) or have internal organizational meetings by way of Virtual Private Network (VPN). Because of technology, our personal and professional lives are more productive and fulfilling now more then ever before.
On the other hand, technology has had an adverse effect on many people in our society. For instance, when we go to the checkout counter at various stores, there is an automated checkout counter where there use to be a cashier or when we use to talk to each other on the phone, but now we find it more convenient to email or text message one another. Something seems wrong! Whatever happen to a good old fashion hand shake or meeting a women face to face instead of through a computer system that tells one who would best suit them. How about experiencing "love at first sight" without having to meet all of her friends and family on MySpace or meeting 10 women in a matter of 20 minutes during a speed dating session (as though someone could determine who they wanted to date in that short amount of time).
I feel that current and future technology coupled with the Internet are excellent tools that will propel us further and faster on to this information highway that we are now traveling. It is important that we don't let the basic things that make us human beings fall into a ditch on the side of the road during our high speed travels. In some cases, we as a society have become less interpersonal with one another due to our use of technology. We let our emails and text messages say I love you or rather the numbers 1-4-3 replaces our warm voice that could reassure her of our feelings. Many arguments have occurred and some relationships have even broken up due to miscommunication from using these written mediums. In most cases, a simple telephone call could have alleviated the misunderstanding. As we continue to march further and faster into the 21st century it is important not to get trapped behind the computer or telephone texting screens. These mediums should not be a persons primary means of communication. Rather, one should find balance and develop a technological/interpersonal relationship in both their personal and professional lives.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Welcome to Blog 4 BIG RESULTS
Good day and welcome to Blog 4 BIG RESULTS. This blog was created to stimulate true and honest conversation about trends, societal norms and issues that are shaping our world. Topics such as, technology, parenting, single parenthood, mentoring our youth, what we can do to better our communities, tips on slowing down from the hustle and bustle of life to appreciate thoses around us and many, many more topics will be discussed here at Blog 4 BIG RESULTS. This blog will be updated at a minimum of twice a week on Mondays and Thursdays. Feel free to comment on any topics that we discuss and we will be sure to respond back ASAP. So lets get started!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
