The Beckon of Light

Democratic Nominee Barack Obama was elected President of the United States on November 4, 2008 American proved that democracy really existed and began to experience what true democracy is. I say this because of the plight of African Americans in this country and seeing the bleak economic future that was awaiting America and the world. This election represented a true cornerstone in American history. Many Americans voted irregardless of race but chose to elect the right man for the job. For many African Americans this moment was a dream come true and not a dream deferred.

President Obama represents a beckon of light, hope and optimism for many Americans and others around the world. His Presidency shines a new light on America for present and future generations.



My question to you is how can you become that beckon of light within your community?

Building stronger communities

A social group of any size whose members reside in a specific location, share government and often have a common cultural and historical heritage. This is the definition of the word Community as described on http://www.dictionary.com/.

This definitive doesn't seem complete because communities are much more then that. Community on a macro level is the world as a whole. The world as a whole has a shared responsibility to ensure that countries is doing it's part to address economic, environmental and health concerns that could have a definite impact on the world as a whole (i.e. economy, global warming, HIV etc.). As we know, addressing concerns that effect the world as a whole is an ever evolving process because every country has it's own ideology on how to address these concerns. As you see in the news, the world is realizing how interdependent our communities really are to one another due to the meltdown of the world economy.

Interdependence... This concept is not often spoken of, but will be vital to the success of the world community and our grassroots community on a micro level.

Let's explore what interdependence is. Interdependence is a reciprocal relation between interdependent entities (objects, individuals or groups) or simply being mutually dependent; depending on each other. To achieve interdependence within our communities. Communities must possess a variety of characteristic such as: maturity, selflessness, responsibility and a strong sense of purpose. Think about that for a moment... Then apply the concept of interdependence to your community.

We must began to realize how interdependent we are to each other. Businesses are interdependent to consumers, the economy is interdependent to investors but individuals in communities are independent of one another. There is a selfish ideology behind this thinking. Don't get me wrong it is important to be independent, self reliant and self sufficient. But, when we began to walk around our communities with blinders on and pretend not to see what is obvious. Eventually the cancer will began to fester and the problem gets out of control we tend to get frustrated and angered but when we had the opportunity to address the issue we chose not too.

To build stronger communities we must began to take off the blinders and stop pretending that problems that are obvious done exist. We must begin to inject the understanding of interdependence into our communities.

We Found a Needle in a Hay Stack

It's is suggested that as many as 50,000 people become homeless in Baltimore, Maryland annually; and we found the one we were looking for!!!

I received a call late last week from a friend and I was asked to help her find her homeless uncle in Baltimore, Maryland. I have some knowledge of Baltimore because I uses to hang out there in the late 90's but I had no recent knowledge of Baltimore.

We began today with the realistic understanding that we may not find her uncle. But with faith, direction and divine guidance from our Lord and Savour, we will be successful in our quest to find her uncle. The first few shelters we visited we met resistance from faculty because of concern for the safety and security of shelter residence and we found a few shelters to be condemned. We began to get a little discouraged; but, before we allowed discouragement to take root we made a decision that we were not going to be denied and we were not leaving Baltimore without her uncle.

The more she would talk about her uncle the more I became connected to him. I did not know her uncle personally but the more I listen to her talk about him the more I felt I know this man... He had characteristics that reminded me of my brother, uncle and father. He was no longer just another homeless man that I would walk by in the street without a second thought. He was more then that. He became tangable to me!

We called one shelter and we were notified that he was there 2 days prior. We immediately went there to get an idea of where he would be at. We were told he was in the area, so we drove around for about an hour and we met this homeless man name James. James pointed in the direction of where her uncle usually sleeps but he wasn't there. We turned the corner and we saw a man sitting up among all of his worldly possessions in the middle of the sidewalk. I role the window down and I called out his name and the man looked up and say yes that's me (my friends eye welled up with tears) she began to question him to verify that it was him. The man answered her questions and began to talk about her other family members so clearly. I asked him one more question "Are you ready to go back home?" and he replied with tears in his eye's "I been ready to go back home."


We began to get her uncle prepared to leave. We coordinated a shower for him at the shelter, supplied him with clean clothing and a meal to eat. As we were about to take her uncle out of his homeless lifestyle the Chaplin of the shelter came to us and said "I don't think it's a good idea to put him in your car because he soils himself and he has mental issues." But, through our short conversation with him we quickly understood that this man was not a drug addict or alcoholic and his only real issue was that he did not have the resources to get home.


We put him in the car to embark on a journey from Baltimore, Maryland to the greyhound bus station in Washington DC. We had an hour and half conversation on our journey and this man was just as charismatic and good natured as my friend described as being.


February 16, 2009 was one of the best days of my life because my friend and I embarked upon a journey with an uncertain ending and at the end of the day I can truly say we found a needle in a hay stack.

The Passion to Serve Others

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Mahatma Gandhi

The quote above is so profound. I can attest to it because I have found my passion through my service to others. In January of 2008 after watching Oprah on Martin Luther King Day I took an introspective look at myself to find out what I could do in my community to create a positive change. By the end of January the concept of Mentor 4 BIG RESULTS evolved from my introspective search into my passion.

I can say that serving others is my passion because this program went through a process of metamorphosis. From an introspective though into creative action. The action is what allows this program to exist, but it was the introspection process that allowed my passion to be discovered.

Serving others is not an easy thing to do for many people because it requires performing a selfless act. But it is the selfless act that is so rewarding.

As our nation continues to go through this period of change. I believe the hearts of many will develop the passion to serve others. Many people already possess the passion to serve others but have not taken the action to exercise their passion. This is the year of CHANGE! I encourage you to put some action behind your passion. You will never know what creative action your introspective thoughts will lead you too.

If you have a passion to volunteer visit Mentor 4 BIG RESULTS at www.m4brs.org.

We all can be an agent of change!

As our nation enters this new era of transition and change it is critically important that we as a nation take personal inventory of ourselves. I think its important to understand that many have voted for change in the direction of this country, but my question is how many of us are willing to change ourselves? How many of us are truly ready for change? How many of us a willing to give of ourselves in ways that we never gave before? How many of us are willing to become true agents of change?

You may be asking your what is an agent of change? An agent of change is a person or group of people how recognize a condition that exist in their home, neighborhood, community or government that is not satisfactory and they make a selfless decision to effect positive change in that situation. We all have the ability to be agents of change. We banned together as a nation to become agents of change to elect a President that aims to effect positive change in our government and the World. We all must continue to be agents of change on a micro level (i.e. in our homes and neighborhoods) so that true change can be reflected on a Macro level (i.e. community safety, pride, growth and development).

I believe that as a nation are on the road to truly being a united country and the only way that we can truly achieve unity is by building, growing and achieving together. In a lot of ways that means evaluating selfish ambitions and see if they will help to meet the greater good for you, your family and humanity as a whole. The main pillar that an agent of change possesses is that s/he is not afraid to change themselves.

I challenge you to be an agent of change! www.m4brs.org

New Year's Resolution: Stop Procrastinating

With this new year in full swing, many of us have made promises and resolutions to become better in various areas in our lives. But, I wonder how many of us have already revolted against our own dreams and aspirations for this new year. Most of the time people make promise to themselves to lose weight or to become a better person in some way. I submit to you, to stop making promises for tomorrow that you can't begin today. Procrastination is a dream thief and it will rob you of all your blessings. As time passes by and you fail to act on your dreams and aspirations they become easier to shrug off or push back to the next day, month or year until puff there gone without a trace.

A couple of years ago someone told me that the graveyard is the richest place on earth because there lies the dreams and aspirations of many. In most cases those dreams and aspirations lie there in the graveyard because some those people failed to take action to bring them to life. The Bible says that "Faith without works is died" therefore, I encourage you to live a life of victory by putting some action towards your faith and begin living your dreams and aspirations today!

Happy New Year!
The Mentor

Who are you really doing it for?

While I agree that there is nothing wrong with wanting a better lifestyle for your family and yourself. I don't think it should cost you everything to reach your goals. Sometimes we strive so hard to achieve goals and to better our lifestyles that we lose track of the very people that we claim to be doing our life's work to support. Therefore, I must ask you who are you really doing it for?

When you come home one day and find out that you are living with complete strangers. I must ask you who are you really doing it for?

When you identify yourself with material objects and bank accounts. I must ask you who are you really doing it for?

If you go to the store to buy some jewelery and you find yourself spending more on it then what your budget allows. I must ask you who are you really doing it for?

The things that we are blessed to have are just that... Blessings! They are not meant to define us nor for us to define other people by. When you begin to put a material value on the people you socialize with, the people you date and your family. You have just lessened your own value, because you put a price tag on something that should be priceless. When your material value begins to depreciate you will begin to see for sale and foreclosure signs appear in your relationships that were built on material value. Only people who really love and respect you will still be there and you will find that in most cases those were the people who you neglected the most.

So ask yourself "Who am I really doing it for?".

U Are Your Children! Do Your Like What U See?

We are living in a time in history where many people think that being accountable for their actions is a second or third option. For some, accountability is not an option at all.

Many parents display a lack of accountability to their children by allowing the television, older siblings or family members to constantly be the babysitter, their romantic relationships, jobs, and social life to come before their children. Some of the messages that are sent to these children are that: they don't count, they come last in your list of priorities and their value has changed because this person has entered your lives. These are some of the slow and poisonous examples of how parents taint and teach their children lack of accountability. Sending these types of messages to your children destroys their self-esteem; they develop low moral standards for themselves and gain a limited understanding of who they are.

The results in some cases are: disobedience and lack of respect of themselves and their parents, dropping out of school, drug use, sex, and they develop a nothing to lose attitude. You may ask yourself how do parents that display lack of accountability contribute to their children's dysfunction. Here is a good example, think back to when you were a child and your parents bought you a toy. You were so excited and promised to play with the toy everyday and you took an oath that you would never get tired of playing with the toy. Until one day you saw another toy that attracted your eye. You begged and pleaded with your parents to "GET YOU THAT TOY!" You finally got the toy. Now that old toy is buried in the heap of all the old toys that you promised to play with forever and ever. By displaying a lack of accountability to your children they become like that old toy that you were once excited about and that you promised to take care of forever and ever. Somewhere along the line you lost interest and tossed your children into that heap of old toys where you’re broken dreams and aspirations lie.

One of the great things about life is that sometimes we get a second chance to live our dreams and aspirations, but sometimes people are not so easy to offer a second chance. I implore you! If you are a parent that displays a lack of accountability to your children, please adapt your lifestyle to welcome your children back into the fold. If you are okay with stealing your children's dreams, aspirations and self-worth then don't complain about the results of your lack of accountability.

Tap into the positive resources available to U!

Each day I try to learn something of value. I attempt to do this by reading books and newspaper articles, attend Tuesday night Bible study and Sunday Church service, workout etc. I talk to people of high intellect and men like my father who has a lifetime of experience and wisdom. I do this so that I may become a well rounded individual and to broaden my perspective on life. Through reading, discussion and practical application of the knowledge learned; I have learned many of life's lessons. Furthermore, I have found that being receptive to the teachings that I've been exposed to have allowed me to prosper in many ways and avoided many trial and error lessons that life has sent my way.

I see life not only as an evolutionary process where we create generation after generation to carry on a family name and/or tradition for decades, but life is a legacy process also. We must set standards and plant seeds for current and future generations to prosper from. We see legacies and traditions acted out when we see generations of families that are successful, family businesses, during the holiday season and during family reunions. We also see legacies in the form of generational curses acted out everyday that are very destructive such as child abuse and domestic violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, poverty and illiteracy. I believe that if people that are trapped in the rout of a generational curses begin to tap into the positive resources available to them (i.e. God, the local Church, positive family and friends, books etc.) they could begin the process of breaking the shackles that they are bound by.

One of the most important lessons that I learned as a mentor to young men is that no man is an island and that I too must be mentored. Being mentored allows my perspective as well as my understanding to grow. Furthermore, I don't have to reinvent the wheel by making the same mistakes that my mentor's have made. Moreover, being receptive to wise counsel allows me to capitalize on opportunities that I may have otherwise missed due to my own understanding or misunderstanding. Now let's be honest, we are all limited to our own understanding. Therefore, tapping into the resources available to U is vital to expanding your own perspective and understanding. Once a seed is planted and takes root, whether the seed be good or bad, it will bring forth a harvest. So be mindful of the seeds that you plant and the seeds you allow to take root in your life. I encourage you to tap into the positive resources available to U!

Do you see situations with 20/20 vision?

OUR EYE'S ARE MADE TO SEE! We can identify shapes; determine colors and objects, see family and friends etc. Sometime, when I look at the sky, I can see cloud formations that remind me of a face or a place. With my eye's clearly focused with 20/20 vision on the things that I want to see. I wonder if I'm seeing situations that are right in front of me from a near-sided or far-sided perspective. Furthermore, I wonder what am I not allowing myself to see at all.

To answer these questions I had to do a self-assessment. I find that the best way to conducting a self-assessment is in a non-critical manner. I found this hard to do, because like many people I'm my own worst critic. I would like to believe that I am doing everything right and that I make all the best decisions. But the truth is, thinking that I'm "Mr. Perfect" is only my pride and ego attempting to cover up my shortcomings and attempting to defend the indefensible. It's was important for me not to allow pride and/or ego to interfere when I conducted my self-assessment because both would have tricked me and installed a false sense of security and correctness in my thinking.

To successfully conduct a self-assessment I had to look at situations in my life through empathetic eye. Suddenly situations that seem chaotic, futile and difficult suddenly became very clear. I no longer viewed these situations with near-sided or far-sided vision because I was able to put myself in the other person’s shoes and I was able to put my pride and ego aside to be honest with myself. There is a saying that hindsight is 20/20. This saying is so true, but why must I see situations with 20/20 vision after the damage is done. Is it because I allow myself to operate behind the false security that pride and ego supply until I am able to strip away the layer to see me for who I am? And is who I am, not my representative (pride and ego) the person I want to be? To and answer these questions I had to learn to observe my own action and understand what is going on inside of me before I react to a situation.

The fact is that every man, woman, and child have both pride and ego. The longer that both are left unchecked the more they get out of control. I have found that self-assessment is an excellent tool for me to be honest with myself and allows me to see situations with foresight instead of hindsight.

I ask you the question I asked myself. Do you see situations with 20/20 vision?

Shatter the Ceiling Above

The definition of the word ceiling according to http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ceiling is - the overhead interior surface of a room. In aeronautical terms the online dictionary references absolute ceiling which is- the maximum altitude at which an aircraft can operate under specified conditions. My definition of the word ceiling in reference to life is simple - Self-inflicted or circumstantial limitation (barring physically or sociological problems).

Now lets apply these definitions to our lives. When a ceiling exist in man, woman or child's life in the form of drugs, alcohol and/or physical abuse, lying, stealing and addiction of any kind, the individual and their families are robbed of their blessings. Consider this, when we are at home watching television or having a family meeting at the dinner table, we are protected and insulate by the walls and the ceiling above from the elements that are outside. Now consider a young man who drops out of school, begins selling drugs and becomes a father all by the age of 16 or a single mother of five who struggles to balance family, work and school or how about the young soldier that has been deployed for 18 to 24 month and is now returning home to a daughter that is now walking and talking and a wife that he has to orientate himself too because the distance the time away has allowed her to grow without him.

In each of these scenarios a ceiling exists. But the ceiling will only exist as long as the individual allows it too. The Bible states that "As a man thinkith so is he" that means as long as you think destructive and deceitful thoughts and travel on the lonely highway of despair you will continue in the same condition thus creating a ceiling for yourself. Initially, this ceiling is created in the mind through allowing life's issues and circumstance to take root. The mind acts as sponge and those seeds (thoughts) that you let in quickly begin to blossom. Those negative thoughts begin to crowd and block the positive thoughts and that ceiling over time becomes a mental prison that blocks many blessings.

How do you shatter the ceiling above?

1. Develop a spiritual relationship with God and pray - because your spiritual relationship with God + prayer will change all things.

2. Learn to forgive yourself for being a hostage to your mind. By forgiving yourself, you can learn to truly love yourself and the people around you.

3. Surround yourself with positive people and influences - the people that are around you greatly influence your perception and world views. So choose friends and constituencies wisely.

4. Shatter the ceiling above because your worth it! You are worthy of the blessings that God has for you!

If you think about the mind for a moment... the mind is limitless if nurtured and groomed properly. I can prove this to be true because everything that exists today started with two things: first, a thought and second, an action. Understanding these truths allows each individual to write a vision and be blessed or cursed by it. The choice is yours!

Divorced/single parents, relationship and supporting your children

I have been divorced and a single father for nearly 5 years and I realize on a daily basis the importance of my relationship with my son’s mother and the impact that our relationship has on our son.

My son’s mother and I have a working relationship that is only based on the care and welfare of our son. Our son lives with me and his mother gets him every other weekend. At times, it seems like it’s only me working on our relationship, to keep it cordial and civil. At other times, we work seamlessly together and without a hitch. If I allowed my pride to interfere when an unreasonable demand is being made of me or when something doesn't go my way. It would be easy to dismiss her, with disregard and/or disrespect like I see so many men and women do on television and in the streets. But before I react I ask myself, "What signal would I be sending to my son with a negative reaction?" Would I be saying that it's okay to treat women this way. Would I remind him when he doesn't act the way that I expect him too that he reminds me of his mother. Therefore, his worthy of the same treatment.

The majority of divorced/single parents need to wake up and get off their personal soapbox when it comes to their children and stop using their children to exercise their own personal hurt and pain. With every negative reaction that divorced/single parents displays towards one another the children get exposed to the harsh venom of life, separation and non-acceptance. Then we wonder why so many children in divorced/single parent households suffer from low-self esteem, depression and display guarded behavior. I believe that in a lot of cases the strain of the divorced/single parents relationship has ingrained those characteristic into the children.

When I tell my son "I love you" I say it from a selfless and unconditional vantage point, just as my father did for me, when I came to live with him at 10 years old. Regardless, of the relationship that my mother and father had, he always supported my relationship with my mother and encouraged me to have a relationship with her. For example, I cannot tell my son I love everything about him except for those characteristics that remind me of your mother or that I love you but I don't support your relationship with your mother because I have a personal differences with your mother. If I showed my son love like this, it will surely backfire on me because it will turn from me saying "I love you" into him saying "you don't I love me, because you deny who I am!"

In the book The Audacity of Hope by President-Elect Barack Obama he asserted that when he was first elected to the United States Senate in 2004 that many of his colleagues and constituencies viewed him as a blank screen in which to project their ideology and bureaucracy on because he was so new to the Senate. In many ways our children serve as that blank screen. Good or bad, parents project their ideology and bureaucracy onto that children. Because of that children are limited to the parents understanding or misunderstanding they tend to repeat the same behaviors. I encourage those divorced/single parents that have custody of the children to support their children's relationship with the non-custodial parent (barring any abuse) because this will help to easy the personal pain that your children endure in due to the divorce or separation.